Finding a therapist who understands polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, or kink can be harder than it should be.
You shouldn’t have to explain why you’re in a consensually non-monogamous relationship, defend your relationship structure, or worry that your therapist will assume monogamy is the goal.
At Gemstone Wellness, our therapists provide polyamory-affirming and kink-affirming therapy for individuals, couples, and multiple partners. We work with people navigating ENM, open relationships, relationship anarchy, BDSM, power exchange, jealousy, boundaries, communication, intimacy, and the complicated emotions that can arise in any relationship.
We offer therapy in the downtown Chicago Loop and virtually throughout Illinois.
Polyamorous and kink-involved relationships carry layers of complexity that aren’t well supported by mainstream culture. Navigating multiple attachments, power dynamics, consent, and stigmas can place strain on your relationships.
You might notice:
If any of this resonates, you’re not doing poly or kink “wrong.” These challenges are common and they deserve thoughtful, informed, and affirming care.
At Gemstone Wellness, we are committed to affirming consensual non-monogamy, kink, BDSM, and diverse relationship identities. Our therapists approach this work without shaming or trying to steer you toward monogamy or “normative” relationship models.
We work with:
Your relationship is not a problem to be fixed. Therapy is a place to understand what’s happening, clarify consent and communication, and create structures that support everyone involved.
Polyamorous and kink-affirming therapy helps you move from confusion or tension into clarity, confidence, and connection. Rather than focusing on rules or rigid formulas, we explore what actually works for you and your relationships.
Through therapy, you can:
Over time, therapy supports relationships that feel intentional, sustainable, and rooted in mutual respect.
When navigating non-traditional relationships, it’s easy for misunderstandings or unspoken needs to escalate quickly. Therapy helps slow things down so everyone can feel heard, respected, and supported.
Here’s what the process looks like at Gemstone Wellness:
Finding the Right Fit
Connection matters. We thoughtfully match you with a therapist who is experienced in poly- and kink-affirming care and attuned to your identities, relationship structures, and goals. Feeling safe with your therapist is essential.
Creating Safety and Consent
We begin by establishing emotional safety, clarity around consent, and shared goals for therapy. This includes honoring each person’s voice and creating space for honest conversation without fear of judgment.
Understanding the Dynamics
Rather than focusing on surface-level conflict, we explore what’s happening underneath: attachment needs, nervous system responses, past experiences, and relational patterns that shape how challenges show up.
Clarifying Agreements and Boundaries
Therapy supports clear, ongoing conversations about boundaries, agreements, power, and consent, especially as relationships evolve. We help translate values into practical, livable structures.
Practicing New Ways of Relating
In sessions, you’ll practice communication, repair, and negotiation in real time. These skills carry into your relationships, supporting more ease, trust, and connection.
Whether you’re deepening existing relationships or navigating change, therapy offers a steady, affirming container for growth.
Many people in poly and kink communities carry experiences of relational trauma, shame, or marginalization. Our therapists are trauma-informed and sex-positive, meaning we understand how power, consent, and safety intersect with the nervous system.
This approach includes:
We don’t rush decisions or push outcomes. Instead, we support awareness, agency, and authentic choice.
Polyamory refers to consensual romantic or emotional relationships with more than one person. Ethical non-monogamy is a broader umbrella that can include polyamory, open relationships, swinging, and other consensually non-monogamous arrangements.
Kink and BDSM refer to consensual sexual or relational practices involving things such as power exchange, sensation, roles, or negotiated activites.
Some people practice both. Others practice one without the other.
Jane specializes in sex therapy, anxiety and depression, grief and loss, chronic health issues, substance use disorders and complex trauma.
Stef specializes in supporting the LGBTQIA2S+ community, offering therapy for grief, trauma, anxiety, ADHD, and gender/sexual identity exploration.
Andrea is a licensed clinical therapist specializing in compassionate care for grief, loss, and life transitions.
Dr. Martin specializes in anxiety, trauma, grief, and identity, and loves working w/ the intersectionalities of neurodivergence.
Maty Patino Trejo is a bilingual Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in anxiety, stress, and ADHD and enjoys helping...
At Gemstone Wellness, we believe healing and growth happen when people feel genuinely seen and respected. Poly and kink-affirming therapy requires nuance, openness, and cultural humility. You won’t need to educate your therapist or defend your relationship here.
Many people seeking therapy for polyamory or kink have had experiences with therapists who misunderstood their relationships, treated non-monogamy as a symptom of dysfunction, or assumed that the solution was to return to monogamy.That’s not the approach at Gemstone.We understand that consensual non-monogamy can take many forms. You might be married and have another partner. You might be in an open relationship. You might practice relationship anarchy. You might be part of a triad or larger polycule. You might be exploring non-monogamy for the first time.
Your relationship structure isn’t something we need to “fix.”
Instead, we help you understand what is happening within your relationships and build communication, boundaries, agreements, and emotional security that fit your values.
Clients choose Gemstone because we offer:
Polyamorous and kink-affirming therapy is available:
We offer services in English and Spanish. We are in network with Aetna and Blue Cross PPO plans and provide superbills for out-of-network reimbursement. We offer polyamorous therapy Chicago trusts. Book with us today.
Share what you’re looking for in therapy, what insurance you have, your availability, and whether you prefer in-person or online sessions.
We thoughtfully match you with the therapist best suited to your needs. That therapist will reach out to schedule a consultation before you begin.
During the consultation, you’ll have the chance to get to know one another, ask any questions, and make sure you feel comfortable moving forward.
A polyamory therapist is a mental health professional who understands and provides affirming care for people in consensually non-monogamous relationships. Rather than assuming that monogamy is the goal, a polyamory therapist helps you explore your relationships, emotions, communication patterns, boundaries, and values within the relationship structure that works for you.
At Gemstone Wellness, we work with individuals, couples, and partners navigating polyamory, ethical non-monogamy (ENM), open relationships, relationship anarchy, and other consensually non-monogamous relationships.
Yes. Our therapists provide ENM-affirming therapy for people at many different stages of their relationships. You may be comfortably practicing ENM and looking for support with a specific challenge, or you may be considering opening your relationship for the first time.
Therapy can provide a space to explore expectations, boundaries, jealousy, communication, agreements, trust, attachment, and the emotional changes that can come with consensual non-monogamy.
Yes. Jealousy is a common human emotion and does not necessarily mean that polyamory or your relationship is unhealthy.
Therapy can help you understand what may be underneath jealousy, including fear of abandonment, insecurity, comparison, unmet needs, attachment patterns, or uncertainty about your relationship agreements. We can also help partners communicate about jealousy without treating it as something that one person simply needs to “get over.”
Yes. We work with couples who are curious about ethical non-monogamy as well as couples who are already practicing it.
Therapy can help you slow down and explore what each person wants, identify potential concerns, discuss boundaries and agreements, and understand how opening a relationship may affect your existing relationship. You do not need to have everything figured out before coming to therapy.
Yes. We recognize that consensual non-monogamous relationships can take many forms. Depending on the therapist and the needs of the people involved, therapy may include individuals, couples, or multiple partners.
You do not need to fit a particular definition of polyamory or ENM to receive affirming care.
A kink-affirming therapist understands that consensual kink and BDSM are not inherently signs of psychological dysfunction. A kink-affirming therapist can provide a nonjudgmental space to explore relationships, sexuality, identity, communication, consent, boundaries, power dynamics, and other concerns without assuming that kink itself is the problem.
You should not have to hide consensual aspects of your relationships or sexuality from your therapist in order to receive good mental health care.
Yes. We provide affirming therapy for people navigating BDSM, dominance and submission (D/s), power exchange, and other consensual kink dynamics.
Therapy may focus on communication, boundaries, consent, emotional connection, relationship changes, conflict, or other concerns. Our role is not to judge or pathologize consensual practices, but to help you understand yourself and your relationships.
Absolutely. You do not need to bring your partner or partners to therapy.
Individual therapy can be a helpful place to explore your own emotions, relationship patterns, boundaries, identity, communication, or decisions about your relationships. Your therapist can support you whether or not your partners participate in treatment.
Yes. You do not need to identify as polyamorous or ENM before beginning therapy.
You may be questioning whether you want a monogamous relationship, considering opening an existing relationship, exploring attraction to more than one person, or simply trying to understand what kind of relationships align with your values. Therapy can give you space to explore those questions without pushing you toward either monogamy or non-monogamy.
No. Although they can overlap, polyamory and kink are different things.
Polyamory generally refers to consensual romantic or emotional relationships involving more than one person. Ethical non-monogamy is a broader term that can include polyamory, open relationships, swinging, and other consensually non-monogamous arrangements.
Kink and BDSM generally involve consensual practices, dynamics, or power exchanges that may or may not be sexual. Some people practice both polyamory and kink, while others practice one without the other.
You don't need to use any particular label to work with a therapist at Gemstone Wellness.
You shouldn't have to spend your therapy sessions convincing your therapist that your relationship is legitimate.
Our goal is to understand your particular relationships and what you want from therapy, rather than assuming that monogamy is healthier or that consensual kink is a symptom of dysfunction. You can focus on the concerns that brought you to therapy instead of defending your relationship structure.
Yes. Gemstone Wellness provides polyamory, ENM, and kink-affirming therapy in Chicago, with in-person therapy available in our downtown Chicago office. We also offer telehealth throughout Illinois.
Insurance generally does not reimburse therapy based on whether it is described as “polyamory therapy” or “kink therapy.” Coverage is typically determined by your insurance plan, the clinician's credentials and network status, and the diagnosis or mental health concern being treated.
Gemstone Wellness is in-network with BCBS and Aetna PPO plans, and we can also provide superbills for clients using out-of-network benefits. Coverage varies by plan, so we recommend checking your specific benefits before beginning therapy.
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Ready to begin?
Schedule your session for Polyamorous & Kink-Affirming Relationship Therapy in Chicago or virtually anywhere in Illinois.