By Jenny Martin, PsyD
Trying to figure out whether what you’re experiencing is a result of stress or trauma is a common issue that we hear from our clients. When you are experiencing either stress, trauma, or both, it can be hard to know where lies the difference and where the overlap is.
What Is Stress?
Stress is the activation of our sympathetic nervous system. This is the system in our body that releases adrenaline and cortisol to help us move faster, breathe quicker, and become more alert to potential threats. In the right situation, this is incredibly useful. Imagine camping in the woods and being woken up by a bear nosing the outside of your tent. That stress response is exactly what you need to survive situations like this.
In our society today though, it tends to backfire. It creates perceived threats in our daily life that are just part of routine modern life. Life is inherently stressful. In this day and age, we’re balancing more than ever: work, family, home, political and environmental uncertainty, and the unprecedented pace of technological change. Our bodies are often living in a perpetual state of stress.
Over time, that chronic stress can become trauma, but it depends on how it’s managed, stored, and what effects it has on your day-to-day life.
What Is Trauma?
Trauma has more to do with how an event (or series of events) is stored in the body than the actual event. What is traumatic for one person may be manageable for another, and vice versa. It is our very own emotional and biological coding that determines whether something crosses the threshold of trauma.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard my clients protesting: “But this can’t be trauma! It isn’t that bad. It’s not like I saw somebody die or something.” That’s an outdated understanding. While we tend to associate trauma and PTSD with extreme experiences, trauma can occur across the spectrum of life experiences.
To understand what’s happening with trauma, it helps to think about the brain in three broad parts: the old reptilian brain, the midbrain, and the front brain. The reptilian brain is home to our limbic system, which is automatic. It doesn’t think, doesn’t take perspective, doesn’t ponder: it reacts quickly and without hesitation. When we perceive major danger, this part of the brain takes over. It’s so ancient and so powerful that no thought can shut it down. If it decides something is “bad, dangerous, unsafe,” your body will remember it.
This is why trauma produces flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, nightmares, and avoidance of people or places that remind you of the experience. The limbic system creates a web of protective reminders to keep you from ever being harmed that way again. Since it operates at such a primitive level, you cannot logic your way out of it.
The good news is that there are many ways to calm that limbic system back down after the fact. Our front brain, responsible for thinking logically, managing emotions and behavior, and reasoning, is also powerful. With the right support, we can learn how to connect these two parts of the brain so that they can work together instead of working against each other. The front brain can help the old, reptilian brain calm down and learn that it’s safe to stand down. It does take work and can be painful, but healing is possible.
Stress or Trauma? How do we know?
Stress and trauma are more connected than most people realize. Chronic, unmanaged stress can absolutely become trauma when the nervous system loses its ability to return back to a baseline level. The body stops being able to tell the difference between a real threat and a routine day.
The key difference between the two is this: stress is your nervous system responding to now. Trauma is your nervous system still responding to then.
The activation of stress tends to be connected to something identifiable. You’re overwhelmed, overscheduled, or under pressure, and when the source eases, so does the feeling. With trauma, the response takes on a life of its own. It detaches from the original event and starts attaching to small triggers: a smell, a sound, a tone of voice. The body is no longer reacting to what’s happening. It’s reacting to what happened.
What This Looks Like in Practice
Here’s an example. I once worked with a remarkable young person who had been through something very difficult. One of their triggers was sirens, and our downtown office hears plenty of those. So we decided to use it therapeutically.
Instead of revisiting the memories directly, we used the sirens themselves to heal. Every time one sounded, we’d turn our attention toward it rather than away. What does this siren mean, here, right now? Over several sessions, their answers began to shift: Care is on the way. There are systems to protect us. We’re not alone when we’re hurt. That sound means people want to help.
This continued for weeks, until one session, a siren went off and we both kept going without missing a beat. Neither of us noticed. The limbic system no longer needed to scream danger. That client was free from that trigger.
That’s what it looks like when the front brain finally gets through to the old one.
Stress or Trauma? Ask Yourself:
These aren’t diagnostic tools, but they can help you get a clearer sense of what you’re carrying.
You may be experiencing stress if:
- You feel like you have more to do than you could ever get done
- It’s hard to be present because your mind is running through your to-do list
- Your body is frequently tense or shaky
- You’re snappier with people than you want to be
- You feel overwhelmed but can’t quite explain why
You may be experiencing trauma if:
- You have frequent nightmares or intrusive thoughts you can’t shake
- There are places or people you actively avoid
- You replay a difficult event, or events, in your mind
- Something feels like it should be “over by now,” but it isn’t
- Your reactions to certain triggers feel bigger than the situation calls for
Many people find themselves checking boxes in both columns, which makes perfect sense. Stress and trauma often travel together. What matters isn’t which label fits perfectly. What matters is that you don’t have to stay where you are.